Debts

...et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.

I have piled up some debts lately. At the exact moment in which I was ponderously posting about discipline and prayer--showing up for life--God was preparing to remind me once again of the folly of planning.

When your father is ill, you owe him your care. When you are ill yourself, your challenge is surrender; you owe God absolute trust. When your husband takes care of you and your relatives for weeks, he is owed some attention. When your children discover you have new free time, and have life to share, you owe them your attention. When a new grandbaby is born, your joy is beyond measure, and the thanks you owe cannot be counted. I'm in debt up to my shoulders. I can only ask that the debts I fail to satisfy be forgiven.

What of the debts owed to me? The respectful attention of a parent, the love of a spouse, the respect and attention of children, the loyalty of friends, the integrity of professional colleagues--what of those? If debts are owed, I can only forgive them. I have no choice.

Is my daily prayer another debt I owe? I don't think so. Too often, in my prayer life as well as all aspects of my life, I make plans to satisfy myself. God's demands are simpler. Saint Gregory of Nyssa says in the end all He wants is our friendship--and that we remember that all good we do we do per ipsum.