Grief 4: Life and Death

 

We had a glorious Easter—Alleluias, soaring music, sunshine, flowers, and warmth. I was reminded, though, that in order to have Easter, you must have Good Friday first. As CS Lewis famously said, "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That is the deal."

My readers are probably aware this has been a difficult year. You may not know I lost both one of my daughters and my Beloved of 54 years in a space of three weeks at the beginning of the year. It is a lot to swallow. It will take a good long year of mourning before I can approach normal, if then.

This weekend I discovered the concept of "widow brain," a state that includes brain fog and fatigue. there is a growing body of science about the impact of loss on brain function. My whole brain is building new pathways and struggling with old ones. It explained a lot. Every thing I do from the time I get up until i go to bed (and especially then) is new and different. Expected stimuli are missing, new ones forming. No wonder I'm exhausted.

I continue to write daily, or try at least. This week I'm flying off to visit family. They live at an airport in a condo facing a pond visited by migrating birds. It will be a good break. This morning, I have to pack. And write. But first, coffee!

(This was originally posted on Caroline Warfield's blog. Caroline is Carol's pseudonym for novel writing.)

Life

I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6

Let me make on thing clear up front: abortion is the deliberate killing of innocent human life. It is an abomination. I make that statement as bald as I can because I am about to outline thoughts that may challenge many in the so-called pro-life movement.

I believe that, as heinous as abortion is, there are circumstances in which it is the least evil choice. Women who find themselves in desperate straits have sought to terminate pregnancy throughout history. In our own day the both sides of the issue talk about "cases of incest and rape," to describe particularly desperate cases of pregnancy, often at the expense of a woman's mental health. Both those cases involve coercion and forced unwanted pregnancy, a violation of a woman's right to the integrity of her own body up to the point of conception.

There are also cases in which a woman must choose between her own life and a child's. Choosing for the child, as Saint Gianna Molla did, is unquestionably heroic. However, what if she has other children who need her, children who don't have anyone else, the choice isn't as clear. To this list I would add, hunger, poverty, and the inability to care for the children a woman already has. The tough ethical question for each woman becomes, "When is abortion the least bad thing to do."

That desperation is not what the so-called pro-choice movement defends, however.  They wave the flag of abortion on demand, no questions asked. Abortion has become the first recommendation in cases of teen pregnancy, career demands, inconvenient pregnancy, and, God forbid, a baby that is less than perfect. The attitude is symptomatic of a corrupt culture whose driving sins are greed and self gratification, putting self above life-giving generosity.

As complex as the moral issues can be, politics has made the situation worse in the United States. One party has used "pro-life" as a whip to flog its base to turn out and vote. They have no vested interest in overturning Roe vs. Wade because it is entirely too useful politically. The other has used "pro-choice" as a threat to frighten women that other rights are at stake. They have no vested interest in focusing on prevention, women's health care that does not include abortion, or any other solution to underlying problems.

If either party truly put human life at the center, they would oppose the death penalty, support common sense gun control, work to get guns out of the hands of teenagers, and support universal health care, particularly for the elderly and children—as well as working to oppose legalized abortion. Better, they would  support laws that eliminated abortion on demand clinics, required both ultrasounds and consultation that includes referrals to organizations who can help women with their pregnancy, and other measures to eliminate the need for it.  Neither party does that. The Enemy laughs in victory either way.

As I write this we are in the midst of another election in the United States, this one uglier and more distasteful than any since perhaps 1968. Archbishop Chaput put it perfectly when he quoted a friend as saying our choice is between:

A vulgar, boorish lout and disrespecter of women, with a serious impulse control problem; or a scheming, robotic liar with a lifelong appetite for power and an entourage riddled with anti-Catholic bigots.

Our choice is an ugly one. We've been told by pro-life friends and family that they will vote for the disrespector of women because he has promised to appoint people to the Supreme Court who will rule on the pro-life side.  Here's what I think is wrong with that:

Assuming he is elected (and that is looking unlikely), and assuming he does what he says (and his past history argues that we ought not rely on any word that comes out of his mouth), and assuming the persons interpret the law as he assumes, what then?  The court might rule as we hope, at least on laws such as I described to slow down the rush to abortion. It is unlikely to over turn Roe vs. Wade in any case. Even if it did, that would merely push regulation back to the states. If all this happens without great conversion of heart across the country and without putting a widespread network of pregnancy support centers and adoption services in place, we might find the situation is as bad or worse than before the appointments.

Belief that the Supreme Court is the answer to a horrific moral problem is foolish at best. If such a belief allows pro-life people to wipe their hands of the problem and feel self-righteous it is downright sinful. Belief that criminalization will fix the problem is at best foolish, and at worse shows a lack of compassion and care for underlying problems. Punishment without compassion not only inadequate, it is a sin of omission.

The Supreme Court won't fix the problem; people of faith have to. What should we—or what's more to the point—what should I—do?

• Some evils can only be driven out by prayer and fasting. 40 Days for Life provides and opportunity to fast and pray for 40 days twice a year.
• Read and think about the underlying issues of women. Don't oversimplify the problem.
• Sidewalk witness at clinics and hospitals, if done with joy, compassion, and openness can be very effective.
• Speak up in secular situations such as university, school, or work.
• Adopt children or support people who do. It is a tough thing to do.
• Support pregnant women in need, financially or better, with our time and attention.
• Work to develop pregnancy support services.
• Watch our state legislature as well as the Congress. Lobby for laws supporting pregnant women or regulating abortion. Write letters, call, email—make your voice heard.
• Give witness to the joy of family in your own life.
• Think about the whole of life and the impact of being pro-life on the death penalty, health care, the policies of the pharmaceutical industry, refugee crises, war, and gun control to name a few.

 I'm please to note that I've done some of all those. I'm ashamed to say I haven't done enough. I remember that it is Jesus who changes hearts, and ask Him to use me as he sees fit. We can only be his hands and feet.

Life

We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.  Amen.

Nicene Constantinople Creed

Aging is an interesting process.  Most of it involves letting go, letting go until things boil down to their essence.   What things do I keep? What objects to I actually need? What matters enough to spend my time on it?   When you peel away layers you come to "What is life" or "Is there life after death?" 

The great good news of Christianity is, yes, there is life after death. Jesus came and took on humanity which is to say He accepted death and in doing so destroyed it.   Paul called him the "first fruits of those who are asleep," (1Corinthians 15:20).  He's the first fruits, we're the harvest.

My grandson is Jewish. At his bris (aka ritual circumcision) the mohel asked about the Covenant.  "What do we promise?" We promise to obey His law. I anticipated that answer, but the next one was, "What does He promise in return?"  No easy response occurred to me. His other grandmother had no hesitation.  "Life."  God promises life.

Perhaps the whole long history of Judeao-Christianity, indeed, perhaps all religion, boils down to the search for life.  We find it in God, only in Him.