The Deadlies: Lust

 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.   1 John 2:16

In my last post, I spoke of the underlying habits of action and thought that keep us full of the world and the flesh and prevent us from emptying ourselves to allow God to enter into us and fill our souls—the big seven that separate us from God.

Lust isn't as destructive as pride for instance but it is pervasive, and the one many people obsess on, and/or accuse the church of obsessing on, so it seems like a good starting point. I begin with a definition from the Catechism of the Catholic Church: 

Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

Legalistic that, full of careful adjectives. Clearly, it doesn't refer to all desire or all sexual pleasure, but the specific list of sins related to lust is so long and sometimes detailed, people forget the underlying good, the thing that sin overturns. Let's begin with that.

Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of humanity, hard-wired into our bodies exactly as God made them. What was the Creator up to? Well. Reproduction for one. The mechanics of attraction/arousal/intercourse are designed to make babies, but it isn't that simple. A world in which the only acceptable sexual act is one likely to (or as we used to be taught "open to") reproduction puts sexuality in a narrow box devoid of joy and surely much less than God intended.

Sex is many things. Fun for one. That had to be part of the plan. Pleasurable as one. That also was intended. Desire, that complex function of human relationships, involves the mind and heart as well as reproductive organs. The joy and intimacy that come from sexual activity bind two people as closely as is humanly possible--two in one flesh. The act itself is—or should be— a sign and symbol of deep spiritual communion. That's that "unitive" business in the definition.

So, it's basic to being human. Where does it go wrong? Sexuality is intended by God to be used not just enthusiastically but also generously, as an act of giving. The very act of sexual intercourse works best when both parties are giving to the other. Giving, not taking. Yes, reproduction /fecundity is one form of generosity. So is caring for the pleasure, joy, and well-being of the partner.

Remember that long list of sins? They all present some sort of self-centered use of sexuality on a continuum from seemingly innocuous forms of self-indulgence through various levels of exploitation of other people to forced sex of any kind under any circumstances. Why do the little ones matter? Little sin leads to big sin.

In the middle of this is marriage. Commitment not only provides a safe haven for raising children, but it also provides a safe haven for sexual partners, a platform of trust that enables maximum openness and vulnerability to one another. Fidelity to that commitment is another act of generous self-giving.

Few of us can live this ideal perfectly. We're selfish beings, all struggling along that path to full self-giving. I write romance novels in another part of my life. Every one of them explores the dance of attraction and desire with patterns of selfishness and self-giving, character flaws, and challenges. They all end with the self-giving commitment that is marriage, but the road is sometimes rocky. As a result, I think a lot about healthy relationships.  Recently I saw a quote from Pope Francis (on his @pontifax Twitter account!) that struck me as a good guideline:

Where love becomes tangible, becomes closeness, becomes tenderness, becomes compassion, God is there.

In regard to sexuality as in all things, we should be thinking about what can I give, how can I help, and what is the good of the other—rather than how far can I go, how much is ok, and what can I have?

Post-Roe Confusion and Grief

Then the man of God began to weep. (2Kings 8:11)

I grieve. I have never been able to comprehend the hard positions over abortion, the binary world of all this or all that. The human, political, spiritual and ethical issues are much too complex for the sign waving, name calling, rush-to-the-extremes mess we have now. Sides have hardened again, as if at war with one another at the expense of both women and babies and I grieve. We're plunging into chaotic positioning in every state. There is much I don't understand and I have questions—many, many questions—some have been with me for a long time.

•  How can someone call themselves pro-life and oppose universal health care especially for women and children?
• Why doesn't supporting health care get the same energy as criminalizing abortion?
• How can someone call themselves pro-life and support allowing eighteen year olds to obtain military grade weapons with few if any controls?
• How indeed can they call themselves pro-life and refuse to allow common sense gun laws of any kind?
• How can people call themselves pro-life and attack or vandalize people who disagree?
• Are the lives of the unborn somehow more valuable than the lives of children in a fourth grade classroom, or teenagers on the streets of Philadelphia?
• How can the pro-life political movement call measures to prevent abortion, especially for poor mothers, a "distraction" from criminalization?
• Isn't hunger a pro-life issue as well? Don't mothers need to feed their babies?
• Isn't a living wage for families a pro-life issue for that matter?
• Where are the pregnancy support services?
• How can a pro-life position include no exceptions, even for the life of a mother?
• Where the pro-life voices advocating for women's absolute control over their own bodies up to the point of conception?
• Do women really believe that legal abortion protects them from abuse and neglect of their bodies?
• When did abortion become the end all and be all of women's rights, pulling all the passion and energy from other things--equal pay, adequate medical services, domestic violence, rape prevention and care, living wage?
• Has that laser focus on one issue actually harmed progress on women's rights?
• When did abortion become become "reproductive health," as if it were simple birth control or a substitute for fully robust women's health care?
• How did the unborn begin to be defined away as non-human even though each has unique human DNA at conception and is viable by the sixth month? Why?
• How can people demand "choice" and vilify people who disagree with their positions, even to the point of violence?
• How did we get from 'safe, legal, and rare,' to 'anyone, for any reason, at any stage of pregnancy?'
• Is abortion the BEST we can offer desperate poor women? Seriously?
• if we give ourselves the right to define who is human and who is not what are the implications for the infirm, the disabled, the elderly? 

• When did the rights of one person include the right to take other rights from other people?
• How do legal protections for the unborn harm women who also need protection?
• How is late term abortion not infanticide when those little people are capable of their own unique lives?
• How did we get into this mess?

We seem to be at war. The first casualties in war are truth and common sense. Those who attempt to stand in the middle end up shot full of arrows. I expect no less with his post. I grieve and can only pray.

On Sin

 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1John: 8-9

Recently a friend lamented some of the Church's failures, among them, focus on sin. I sympathize. Bishop Barron has said that leading with sin or leading with rules is a sure way to drive people from the churches. Two words are important in those two sentences, "focus" and "leading." The focus ought to be on our friendship with Christ, on His love and mercy. We should lead with that.

But wait. Mercy? Doesn't that imply we need it?

We live in an era in which the very word sin is frowned over. Someone very close to me announced—after following a new age spiritually program—that sin doesn't exist, it is a human construct. My answer to that was, "Have you read the newspaper?" On the other hand, many of us grew up under a form of Catholic practice overburdened with scrupulosity and narrowness, and we need to toss that off.

Does sin exist? Heck yes. It isn't hard to identify the things that are not of God if we look around.

• Chaos
• Violence
• Hatred
• Vengeance
• Inhumanity
• War
• Homelessness
• Starvation
• Domestic abuse
• Tribalism--any system that puts people in boxes

Sin in human nature, the nature we share, is all around us. Since the war in Ukraine its easy to feel like we're staring into Dante's Inferno. We have to wonder what we—each of us—does, no matter how small, to contribute the the world's share of those things that are not of God,

A more famous list are the traditional Seven Deadly Sins. We get the seven deadlies from the desert fathers by way of medieval practice and Dante. They have a pretty good handle on human nature, and they add the self indulgent ones to the violent ones: Anger, envy, greed, pride, sloth, gluttony, lust. It's a reasonable list of the dark underbelly of human nature.

So, if sin permeates human nature, what is wrong with the church's focus on sin, aside from bad PR? A lot.

Over the centuries the focus on individual sins (plural, as opposed to sinfulness) led to a way of thinking that sliced and diced, analyzed and categorized sin into smaller and smaller bits, mostly aimed at the confessional. There are three big things wrong with that.

1. It is ego-centric. The my sins/my perfection/my salvation point of view is a trap in the spiritual life. We are by nature self centered critters prone to view all of life—including spiritual life—as our own story. It isn't. It is God's story. Barron calls it the Theodrama. Our failings are myriad. In themselves they turn us inward on ourselves. Failing to acknowledge them is bad, but so is obsessing over them. God already knows we fail; He just wants us to admit it and turn to him. Focus on our petty little failings can become an exercise in selfish pride, in which we fail to keep our eyes on God and his mercy--and the grace he gives ups to be bigger than that. 

2. We make too much of the small stuff. Petty sin is the flip side of petty virtue. We're meant to live life fully with great courage and great virtue. The more risk we take the more danger we may fall into. The failures may be bigger. But oh! the opportunity for great love.

3, Clericalism. There is an arrogance and judgement in the church's approach to the sins of individuals--in some places, by some teachers, by some clerics. That's the institutional version of turning in on oneself and taking our eyes off Christ. It is extremely destructive. The issue of the sins of the institution itself, requiring public acknowledgment and reform, is another subject, one that undermines the role of priest as intermediary big time.

But what about the reality of sin? Yep. It's out there and in me to--insofar as I am human I am part of the human condition. Lately I'm asking myself what is repentance, and what do I need to repent? A couple of things have occurred to me. One has to do with the story of the rich young man in the gospels. He obviously had managed to avoid the big stuff. Jesus said, well, then give everything to the poor. Now, most of us fall somewhere between anger/violence/hatred and full on Saint Francis give all to the poor. Maybe where we fall on the selflessness continuum is where our need for mercy lies.

 I use an examination of conscience that begins with "Is God first in my life?" and moves on from there. As Jesus said there are two laws, "Love the Lord your God with your whole heart," and "Love your neighbor (aka everyone he puts in your path) as yourself." Sin is everything turns me--turns each one of us--away from those two laws in on ourselves and away from God. Mistakes made while attempting some ill conceived sort of love and generosity are likely more forgivable than pitiful little acts of greed and selfish indulgence. Its a work in progress, and I can't do it on my own. I require the graces He gives.

Saint Irenaeus said "The Glory of God is a living man" (sometimes translated as a man "fully alive") He goes on to say “the life of a man is the vision of God." In other words, the glory of God is a man who lives a grace filled life, here and in the next life.

Sin exists, sorry about that. The necessity for redemption is all around us. It had to happen. Thank Him. Love Him. We empty ourselves to be made full of Christ. That's the anti-sin. 

Next time? Reconciliation.

Photos

1. Grief by Bertram Mckennal

2. The Dark and the Light of Rosh Hanikra, photo by Christopher Down, CC BY 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons