Grief 2: One step

I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me.

Cardinal Newman

 

 Another day and again I ask what am I to do. I've begun to write, and I put that in God's hands. Does He want me to spend my time or part of it writing novels of love and romance? Seems trivial, but then, he's never asked me to step out of the domestic sphere. The world of marriage and family is where he put me. It is the one thing he actually said to me. But without Greg...

I think of Greg with a smile, and I carry around a bear made of one of his shirts. I feel like a whole new life is flickering awake for me. I have no idea what it will bring. And what role with Rachel's sudden passing play? No idea.

One step...

Grief 1: Thy Will Be Done

Whenever we imagine we are in control of life—our own or someone else's—we have fallen prey to the ancient whisper in the Garden: "You shall be like gods."

Magnificat, Vol 24 Number 12, February 27, 2024

It is now forty-one days since my Beloved, my love for 54 years slipped gently away to God.  Suffering with his heart for all of his eighty years, it finally gave out after two particularly long difficult years of care. The last six months of in-home hospice care were a blessing. Every day from our anniversary July 26 until his death I knew exactly what God expected of me--caring for my husband round the clock. It was the longest period in my life when my calling was brilliantly clear. Every moment of it was a blessing.

Greg always said God would take him when He was ready and was perfectly at peace. We had lived every day of the last thirty years since the last crisis as if it could be our last. We had no regrets or work undone. we had traveled and spent endless time enjoying one another. We'd moved to be close to our Grandson and took full advantage of it. After some years of terrible estrangement, we had reconciled with our middle child, Rachel, and had her close for the last five years, seeing her at least weekly.

And then, God took Rachel too. On Christmas Eve. We had two funerals in three weeks. The burden of that added to months of sleepless and endlessly interrupted nights, left me numb. The exhaustion remains, and I still haven't relearned how to sleep through the night.  I still haven't cried or crumbled.

My calm concerned me. The counselor I'm seeing pointed out there is no one right way to grieve. Perhaps I was just ready. Perhaps Greg's faith and strength in the face of death sustain me. We'll see.

I've never lived alone before. I'm taking it one day at a time. I offer my day to God every morning. My theme song is now "Lead Kindly Light..."

Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th’encircling gloom,
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou
Shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now
Lead Thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

Yep. That was me. Telling God what I was going to do for him and never waiting to listen. I am so trying to wake up every morning and give my day, that one day, over to his will. I did that yesterday, and he gave me...  MICE. I'll be dealing with the mess in my garage for a long while. Such is real life.  

The Deadlies: Greed

 Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of God.

Matthew 5:3

This one is both obvious and subtle. I scanned various writers for ideas and found a sea of things:

1. Hands full of gold cannot reach for God. In other words, filling ourselves with wealth as our aim and goal leaves no room for God in our hearts and souls. Greed is a form of idolatry. 
2. Overabundance, while others go hungry, is a sin against charity.
3. If you have two shirts in your closet, one belongs to you and the other to the man who has no shirt. (That gem is from Saint Ambrose)
4. Wealth isn't in and of itself evil, it is the heart of man that is the problem.

Greed is the great American sin. I refer to the CEOs who take multi-million dollar bonuses while laying off workers.  I refer to those who refuse to tax the rich and call attempts to help the poor "socialism." But I also believe it infests us all on every economic level-the striving, the focus on "security," the striving for promotions, and the need to accumulate savings for a future that may or may not arrive.

We all work to live. The key problem words are focus and goal. When wealth takes up our deepest striving we are in trouble.

When generosity is weakened, we are in trouble. Even a cursory reading of the Gospels makes it clear that God has a preference for the poor and values generosity. Yet, our culture has a dozen ways to discourage charity. Don't give to panhandlers, they are fake or they will use it for drugs. How do you know that charity is legitimate? Don't enable that nephew, he'll fail again. You name it.

When anything takes our focus off God, we're in trouble. The great commandments are "Love the Lord your God with your whole heart" and "Love your neighbor as yourself." Greed is a sin against both of those.

Last but not least I cycle back to the poor in spirit. It doesn't mean going to the extreme and selling all you have as Jesus advised the rich young man (though that could be a heroic good, provided God led you to it). It does mean treating your wealth as on loan from God for his purposes, and being indifferent to it as it applies to your own sake. 

The Boy With the Fish

 

"There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish; but what good are these for so many?"

                                                  John 6:9  

         

  Aside from the Resurrection, the feeding of the 5000 is the only miracle recounted in all four gospels. It is interesting to me that it is about feeding the hungry. Generally in this story and its commentary (such as the homily at today's Mass) the focus is on the apostles and their relative faith or lack of it, on their questioning. It struck me this morning that my position is more like the boy with the fish.

He didn't understand the big picture

He knew he couldn't solve the problem of 5,000 hungry people

He knew he couldn't fix the world around him

He wasn't an apostle or any sort of important official

BUT

He didn't sit quietly feeling helpless

He didn't ask questions

He did the good he could

He generously offered what little he had

From that Jesus, who is the person whose job it is to save the world, fed the multitude while the apostles did the big job of distributing. And the boy? I suspect he sat quietly while it happened,

In the great Theo-drama of salvation history past, present, and future, my role is tiny, but He expects me to do the good I can in the place where He has put me, for the people He has sent, with the gifts He has given me.

It's pretty simple in the end.

The Deadlies: Gluttony

 

Their end is destruction whose god is their stomach, whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things. 

Phillipians 3:19

What do you think of when I type GLUTTONY? A morbidly obese person as in the picture? A Roman orgy with people gorging on rich foods and purging so they can eat more?

Think again.

What about the second slice of pie? The third glass of wine? The extra pork chop your brother was eying? And where does excessive dieting fit? Here or in pride? We live in an era in which body image is such an obsession people stop thinking clearly about food. Health can be an obsession that leads to dietary compulsions and fixations as well. I suspect that whenever we focus on eating as an end in itself for whatever reason we've crossed into the gluttony zone.

That last line in the quote strikes me as critical. The problem is not what we eat or how much but the extent to which we set our minds on earthly things, making food or drink an end in itself.

We obviously need to eat and the God who made us (as the Gospels attest) doesn't begrudge us a good meal or fine wine. A good meal can satisfy the body's need for healthy nutrition. It can also draw families and communities together in shared harmony. Eating and drinking in that sense can be virtuous. All the more so when we remember to be grateful to God for it. Gratitude is probably the greatest antidote to gluttony.

There are other forms of gluttony, however. Addictions certainly fall under this banner, whether they be drugs, excessive exercise, video games, or any other obsession that becomes a god in itself. 

If gratitude is one counterbalance to gluttony, the other is moderation. Keep our eyes on minds on the things of God, and exercise moderation in all things.

The Deadlies: Lust

 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.   1 John 2:16

In my last post, I spoke of the underlying habits of action and thought that keep us full of the world and the flesh and prevent us from emptying ourselves to allow God to enter into us and fill our souls—the big seven that separate us from God.

Lust isn't as destructive as pride for instance but it is pervasive, and the one many people obsess on, and/or accuse the church of obsessing on, so it seems like a good starting point. I begin with a definition from the Catechism of the Catholic Church: 

Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

Legalistic that, full of careful adjectives. Clearly, it doesn't refer to all desire or all sexual pleasure, but the specific list of sins related to lust is so long and sometimes detailed, people forget the underlying good, the thing that sin overturns. Let's begin with that.

Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of humanity, hard-wired into our bodies exactly as God made them. What was the Creator up to? Well. Reproduction for one. The mechanics of attraction/arousal/intercourse are designed to make babies, but it isn't that simple. A world in which the only acceptable sexual act is one likely to (or as we used to be taught "open to") reproduction puts sexuality in a narrow box devoid of joy and surely much less than God intended.

Sex is many things. Fun for one. That had to be part of the plan. Pleasurable as one. That also was intended. Desire, that complex function of human relationships, involves the mind and heart as well as reproductive organs. The joy and intimacy that come from sexual activity bind two people as closely as is humanly possible--two in one flesh. The act itself is—or should be— a sign and symbol of deep spiritual communion. That's that "unitive" business in the definition.

So, it's basic to being human. Where does it go wrong? Sexuality is intended by God to be used not just enthusiastically but also generously, as an act of giving. The very act of sexual intercourse works best when both parties are giving to the other. Giving, not taking. Yes, reproduction /fecundity is one form of generosity. So is caring for the pleasure, joy, and well-being of the partner.

Remember that long list of sins? They all present some sort of self-centered use of sexuality on a continuum from seemingly innocuous forms of self-indulgence through various levels of exploitation of other people to forced sex of any kind under any circumstances. Why do the little ones matter? Little sin leads to big sin.

In the middle of this is marriage. Commitment not only provides a safe haven for raising children, but it also provides a safe haven for sexual partners, a platform of trust that enables maximum openness and vulnerability to one another. Fidelity to that commitment is another act of generous self-giving.

Few of us can live this ideal perfectly. We're selfish beings, all struggling along that path to full self-giving. I write romance novels in another part of my life. Every one of them explores the dance of attraction and desire with patterns of selfishness and self-giving, character flaws, and challenges. They all end with the self-giving commitment that is marriage, but the road is sometimes rocky. As a result, I think a lot about healthy relationships.  Recently I saw a quote from Pope Francis (on his @pontifax Twitter account!) that struck me as a good guideline:

Where love becomes tangible, becomes closeness, becomes tenderness, becomes compassion, God is there.

In regard to sexuality as in all things, we should be thinking about what can I give, how can I help, and what is the good of the other—rather than how far can I go, how much is ok, and what can I have?

The Deadlies!

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him 

                        Proverbs 6:12-19


A few months ago I wrote about sin, in which I lamented the Church's historical tendency to "a way of thinking that sliced and diced, analyzed and categorized sin into smaller and smaller bits. I spoke of the relationship of petty sin to petty virtue. What I failed to say in my previous essay is that guilt is pointless. It is guilt that the Church is often accused of fostering by this pettiness, and to some extent that may be a fair judgement. Guilt is a kind of self-centered wallowing. Repentance, on the other hand, is an outward turning reach for The Other, a turning away from what pulls you down. The fundamental necessity is to empty ourselves in order to be filled with the love of Christ, not to keep, no never that, but to be overflowing into the world around us.

The poet, Sara Teasdale, put it this way:

Child, child, love while you may,

For life is short as a happy day;

Never fear the thing you feel-

Only by love is life made real;

Love, for the deadly sins are seven,

Only through love will you enter heaven.

Whether she intended it or not, love is presented as the antidote to sin.

But of what do we empty ourselves? What is it that I should be repenting? It came to me in prayer this week that my starting point for my pondering about repentance and the Sacrament of Reconciliation might have a starting point in the traditional Seven Deadly Sins, the deeper, underlying habits of action or thought that lay behind the things we do.

The list has a long history. Our current version was solidified by Saint Gregory I in 590, but it has its roots in the Egyptian monastic movement two centuries before. The concept is even older. Greek and Roman philosophers long pondered patterns of thought and habit that lay behind a lack of virtue. Aristotle wrote extensively on virtue and saw vice as a existing in mirror image to virtue (Courage he thought, for example, is a virtue, but too much is recklessness and too little cowardice.)

I've begun to think of the list as descriptions of the barriers, the blockage, that keeps me from emptying and fully entering into the life of Christ. So what are they? The traditional list is:

1. Lust
2. Gluttony
3. Greed
4. Sloth
5. Wrath
6. Envy
7. Pride

Is Lust first because it is most important? Heck no. This list is actually in reverse order from the weakest, least important cause of sin to the most harmful, the most deadly. In my next entries I'll go through them in this order, however. Number one is the one most people obsess on, and/or accuse the church of obsessing on. I've read sins which could be placed under the general banner of lust are the ones most commonly confessed, at least by men. That alone tells me we haven't reached a particularly broad understanding of the things that keep us from God!

Over my next posts I'll ponder them one by one in the traditional order, and ponder also the related virtues and good, the way in which love is the antidote to sin.

Post-Roe Confusion and Grief

Then the man of God began to weep. (2Kings 8:11)

I grieve. I have never been able to comprehend the hard positions over abortion, the binary world of all this or all that. The human, political, spiritual and ethical issues are much too complex for the sign waving, name calling, rush-to-the-extremes mess we have now. Sides have hardened again, as if at war with one another at the expense of both women and babies and I grieve. We're plunging into chaotic positioning in every state. There is much I don't understand and I have questions—many, many questions—some have been with me for a long time.

•  How can someone call themselves pro-life and oppose universal health care especially for women and children?
• Why doesn't supporting health care get the same energy as criminalizing abortion?
• How can someone call themselves pro-life and support allowing eighteen year olds to obtain military grade weapons with few if any controls?
• How indeed can they call themselves pro-life and refuse to allow common sense gun laws of any kind?
• How can people call themselves pro-life and attack or vandalize people who disagree?
• Are the lives of the unborn somehow more valuable than the lives of children in a fourth grade classroom, or teenagers on the streets of Philadelphia?
• How can the pro-life political movement call measures to prevent abortion, especially for poor mothers, a "distraction" from criminalization?
• Isn't hunger a pro-life issue as well? Don't mothers need to feed their babies?
• Isn't a living wage for families a pro-life issue for that matter?
• Where are the pregnancy support services?
• How can a pro-life position include no exceptions, even for the life of a mother?
• Where the pro-life voices advocating for women's absolute control over their own bodies up to the point of conception?
• Do women really believe that legal abortion protects them from abuse and neglect of their bodies?
• When did abortion become the end all and be all of women's rights, pulling all the passion and energy from other things--equal pay, adequate medical services, domestic violence, rape prevention and care, living wage?
• Has that laser focus on one issue actually harmed progress on women's rights?
• When did abortion become become "reproductive health," as if it were simple birth control or a substitute for fully robust women's health care?
• How did the unborn begin to be defined away as non-human even though each has unique human DNA at conception and is viable by the sixth month? Why?
• How can people demand "choice" and vilify people who disagree with their positions, even to the point of violence?
• How did we get from 'safe, legal, and rare,' to 'anyone, for any reason, at any stage of pregnancy?'
• Is abortion the BEST we can offer desperate poor women? Seriously?
• if we give ourselves the right to define who is human and who is not what are the implications for the infirm, the disabled, the elderly? 

• When did the rights of one person include the right to take other rights from other people?
• How do legal protections for the unborn harm women who also need protection?
• How is late term abortion not infanticide when those little people are capable of their own unique lives?
• How did we get into this mess?

We seem to be at war. The first casualties in war are truth and common sense. Those who attempt to stand in the middle end up shot full of arrows. I expect no less with his post. I grieve and can only pray.

On Sin

 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1John: 8-9

Recently a friend lamented some of the Church's failures, among them, focus on sin. I sympathize. Bishop Barron has said that leading with sin or leading with rules is a sure way to drive people from the churches. Two words are important in those two sentences, "focus" and "leading." The focus ought to be on our friendship with Christ, on His love and mercy. We should lead with that.

But wait. Mercy? Doesn't that imply we need it?

We live in an era in which the very word sin is frowned over. Someone very close to me announced—after following a new age spiritually program—that sin doesn't exist, it is a human construct. My answer to that was, "Have you read the newspaper?" On the other hand, many of us grew up under a form of Catholic practice overburdened with scrupulosity and narrowness, and we need to toss that off.

Does sin exist? Heck yes. It isn't hard to identify the things that are not of God if we look around.

• Chaos
• Violence
• Hatred
• Vengeance
• Inhumanity
• War
• Homelessness
• Starvation
• Domestic abuse
• Tribalism--any system that puts people in boxes

Sin in human nature, the nature we share, is all around us. Since the war in Ukraine its easy to feel like we're staring into Dante's Inferno. We have to wonder what we—each of us—does, no matter how small, to contribute the the world's share of those things that are not of God,

A more famous list are the traditional Seven Deadly Sins. We get the seven deadlies from the desert fathers by way of medieval practice and Dante. They have a pretty good handle on human nature, and they add the self indulgent ones to the violent ones: Anger, envy, greed, pride, sloth, gluttony, lust. It's a reasonable list of the dark underbelly of human nature.

So, if sin permeates human nature, what is wrong with the church's focus on sin, aside from bad PR? A lot.

Over the centuries the focus on individual sins (plural, as opposed to sinfulness) led to a way of thinking that sliced and diced, analyzed and categorized sin into smaller and smaller bits, mostly aimed at the confessional. There are three big things wrong with that.

1. It is ego-centric. The my sins/my perfection/my salvation point of view is a trap in the spiritual life. We are by nature self centered critters prone to view all of life—including spiritual life—as our own story. It isn't. It is God's story. Barron calls it the Theodrama. Our failings are myriad. In themselves they turn us inward on ourselves. Failing to acknowledge them is bad, but so is obsessing over them. God already knows we fail; He just wants us to admit it and turn to him. Focus on our petty little failings can become an exercise in selfish pride, in which we fail to keep our eyes on God and his mercy--and the grace he gives ups to be bigger than that. 

2. We make too much of the small stuff. Petty sin is the flip side of petty virtue. We're meant to live life fully with great courage and great virtue. The more risk we take the more danger we may fall into. The failures may be bigger. But oh! the opportunity for great love.

3, Clericalism. There is an arrogance and judgement in the church's approach to the sins of individuals--in some places, by some teachers, by some clerics. That's the institutional version of turning in on oneself and taking our eyes off Christ. It is extremely destructive. The issue of the sins of the institution itself, requiring public acknowledgment and reform, is another subject, one that undermines the role of priest as intermediary big time.

But what about the reality of sin? Yep. It's out there and in me to--insofar as I am human I am part of the human condition. Lately I'm asking myself what is repentance, and what do I need to repent? A couple of things have occurred to me. One has to do with the story of the rich young man in the gospels. He obviously had managed to avoid the big stuff. Jesus said, well, then give everything to the poor. Now, most of us fall somewhere between anger/violence/hatred and full on Saint Francis give all to the poor. Maybe where we fall on the selflessness continuum is where our need for mercy lies.

 I use an examination of conscience that begins with "Is God first in my life?" and moves on from there. As Jesus said there are two laws, "Love the Lord your God with your whole heart," and "Love your neighbor (aka everyone he puts in your path) as yourself." Sin is everything turns me--turns each one of us--away from those two laws in on ourselves and away from God. Mistakes made while attempting some ill conceived sort of love and generosity are likely more forgivable than pitiful little acts of greed and selfish indulgence. Its a work in progress, and I can't do it on my own. I require the graces He gives.

Saint Irenaeus said "The Glory of God is a living man" (sometimes translated as a man "fully alive") He goes on to say “the life of a man is the vision of God." In other words, the glory of God is a man who lives a grace filled life, here and in the next life.

Sin exists, sorry about that. The necessity for redemption is all around us. It had to happen. Thank Him. Love Him. We empty ourselves to be made full of Christ. That's the anti-sin. 

Next time? Reconciliation.

Photos

1. Grief by Bertram Mckennal

2. The Dark and the Light of Rosh Hanikra, photo by Christopher Down, CC BY 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

The Fruits: Self-control

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Last but not least: self-control. We struggle. I struggle. Even Saint Paul said "I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do." (Romans 7: 18-19)

That brings us back to where I started.  The fruits of the spirit are those things that manifest themselves in our lives when we've surrendered to the Holy Spirit and live in the spirit. They are signs not of our own efforts or holiness but of the Spirit itself working in us. It behooves us to remember that.

On my own I can do nothing. In God's grace I can do anything. 

 

 

The Fruits: Gentleness

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Gentleness of manner or disposition--this quality is very close to kindness, but it has more to do with mild temper or sweet disposition than anything else. It is how we approach the people we have in our life.

God presents each of us with people every day, passing acquaintances as well as family, friends, and coworkers. In every category, some are more likable than others but we're called to love them all. "Gentleness" is how someone who lives in the spirit approaches the people we are given, particularly those we find hard to get along with.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about relationships with people whose political or religious views and values differ sharply from ours. Worse is when those we're given to love are opinionated, judgmental, and harsh with anyone who differs from them. We're living in an age where political tribalism, religious dogmatism, and so on have us so divided into camps that conversations have ceased to be about ideas and often deteriorate into name-calling and labels. The problems in families over these differences have made holiday dinners with those we ought to feel close to tense and sometimes miserable. It has become such a widespread problem, jokes and self-help solutions proliferate.

Here's a solution: pray for the Holy Spirit to so fill us that we bear fruit in gentleness especially when the people we encounter are difficult and prickly. We can't and shouldn't agree with everyone, but we can treat them with gentleness.  Need a model? The portrayal of Jesus on The Chosen is an example that combines strength and firmness of purpose with gentleness beautifully.

The Fruits: Faithfulness

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

If the Holy Spirit manifests her fruits in my life at all, this one is probably it. Fifty-two years of marriage is one manifestation. Of course, there are kinds and degrees of fidelity in marriage. The absence of adultery is only one. True single-hearted love in the face of illnesses, family stress, career stress, is harder, as is the distraction of other shiny things. Still, we persist.

I'm a tough friend to lose. Close friendships stay with me decade after decade, some of them for 60, 50, 40 years. 

I could not stay steady in all these things without an enormous flood of grace. That I've been able to do so is nothing but a gift from God who does all. He is he who is God. I am she who is not.

The greatest gift of all and the foundational faithfulness, however, is that I have never wavered in my belief since the day I understood that God existed, and because of that nothing else --NOTHING--matters. I may have struggled with the institutional church but never with that foundational faith. For that grace I am grateful.

The Fruits: Goodness

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

What is goodness? It is the nature of humans to choose what is good. Of course what an individual perceives as good generally is "good for me."

To give a petty example, I may choose pie for breakfast and ice cream for lunch. I crave them and perceive them as very good. In the context of my health and overall well-being, however, they are not so good for me. It is a matter of judgment and perception. On a much greater scale, Hitler did what he thought of as good for himself and even good for Germany. We think of him as a madman, but even madmen choose their perceived good. 

To bear fruit in true goodness, we have to have the wisdom—and selflessness—that only comes from the Holy Spirit.

What then is goodness? The etymological dictionary on historic principles says:

Old English gōd (with a long "o") "excellent, fine; valuable; desirable, favorable, beneficial; full, entire, complete;" of abstractions, actions, etc., "beneficial, effective; righteous, pious;" of persons or souls, "righteous, pious, virtuous;" probably originally "having the right or desirable quality,"

It is tempting to think that good and God have the same English root but the etymological dictionary argues otherwise. It doesn't matter. Goodness is closest to the scriptural idea of righteousness.

As a fruit of the Spirit and life under the guidance of the Spirit, goodness means displaying in my life that string of qualities in definition, things that are fine and valuable, and my particular favorite, "beneficial." I believe it means that the way I live makes the lives of those around me, the life of the church and the community, the natural world as I find it, all better--or at least as fine as God made them. Goodness is to build up, to give life. 

The Fruits: Kindness

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Surely kindness ought to be abundant fruit in the life of the spirit, if only because every day of our lives presents us with opportunities to practice it.

The worm in the apple, er, orange is the hidden desire that our kindness be seen, be dramatic, bring us admiration. Little kindnesses, especially those in our own households, especially those that go unnoticed have no appeal. It isn't my turn to do dishes. Do I do them? Do I do them and make sure my beloved knows that I did, so he can be suitably grateful? Worse, do I do them and complain loudly? The lurking sin of pride is never of God. Kindness, especially unsung hidden kindness, is always of God and to our benefit.

Do it and to God alone be the glory. Soli Deo gloria!

The Fruits: Patience

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Patience! So many opportunities to practice it! Modern life is hurried and frenzied, and we are surrounded with the opposite.

The kind of patience that its the fruit of the Spirit, however, wells up at key times. The fruit of patience pays huge dividends in relationships too. Small children with learn slowly. Husbands who can't seem to handle emotions clearly. Co-workers who ignore our requests. Family members who just don't see things my way. Patience buys me room for healing, bonding, communicating—whatever it takes to love them as we are commanded. Easy? No. Source of grace? You bet. Do I do it well? Ah....

There are other impacts of spiritual patience. Waiting in traffic or in line become opportunities for prayer and praise.

A deeper more profound aspect of patience deals with the advent that is our life in this world. We are always, always waiting for the coming of Jesus. He comes to us in prayer. He comes to us in the Eucharist. He'll come for us at the end of our lives. He'll come at the end of time. Sometimes I want to stomp my foot and say "COME lord Jesus." He smiles and the Spirit says, "Patience."

The Fruits: Peace

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Today  is Ascension Thursday.  The first, original, most meaningful novena of them all commences. It seems expedient for me to complete this series over the next nine days. 

As I write about peace my city had more shootings overnight. They come daily now. Jerusalem is burning, Gaza is being flattened, and civil war has erupted in some Israeli towns. Afghanistan has erupted as troops withdraw, the latest atrocity, the bombing of a girls' school with many deaths, hints at what may come. Cyber attacks on various power grids feel like the opening shots in a new form of warfare. Political polarization, anger, and yes, hatred continues to seethe. Attacks on Asian Americans are climbing, anti-semitism rises, and bigotry, the legacy of slavery, continues to manifest itself in violence and echoing hatred. Where is this peace?

My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. (John 14:27)

Jesus gives us His peace! If you search the gospels you'll find Him wishing/offering peace over and over. You'll find Him urging his followers to be peacemakers, to offer peace, to bring peace. He does not promise that the world, ever the opposite of God, will have peace. In fact, he goes on to say:

In this world you will have trouble. (John 16:33)

Period. Full stop. You will. He continues:

But take heart! I have overcome the world. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

(John 16:33)

So what is this peace that his followers ought to manifest, that will blossom from the seeds the Holy Spirit sows in our souls? Is it merely  a calm, untroubled manner in the face of all this violence and hatred, or is it something more? I won't pretend I can even do that. When faced with violence and anger I cringe.

Here's what I do know: forgiveness, acceptance and patience with the people in our lives feel good and they are good. Anger, resentment, and vengence do not and are not. In the face of injustice we ought to speak up, but we can still forgive and offer the world His love. To forgive, accept and offer everyone we encounter love we have to dig deep because conflict abounds. Our Lord wants us to be overflowing with peace in this troubled world and he sends the Holy Spirit to help us do it. Once again He demands we do the good that He presents in front of us, the peace that we and only we can make. Imbedded in the life of the Holy Spirit, we can bear the fruit that is peace in our own sphere of life.

The Fruits: Joy

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

This fruit of life lived in the Spirit can feel illusive. As the scripture reminds us in Psalm 30, "Weeping may endure for a night." The Good Lord knows our lives frequently give us cause to weep: illness and financial upheaval, not to mention pandemic, unemployment, and the ominous drumbeat of division and anger that seems to afflict our politics, our families, and even our church in recent years. Worst of all is conflict in family.

Still the psalm goes on, "… joy cometh in the morning."

It took me a long time to realize that the joy in question wasn't some sort of surface happiness dependent on external realities of life. Joy comes from the depths, the river of grace running through the souls of those who live in the union with the Holy Spirit. It is the result of allowing the Gifts of the Spirit to take root and grow. 

I have come to believe that joy is the most obvious sign of a Christian who walks in grace with God. You see it in their faces, you hear it in their voices, and you find it even when life is knocking them around. They radiate joy. In those times of anger and conflict, this joy is closely linked to peace which is closely linked to forgiveness, loving God's children as he loves them. Some people can manage it.

I'm struggling to learn to look for it in myself, and to note when it does not appear, so I can remind myself to pray and tap into the Spirit who just waits to be asked.

The Fruits: Love

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

When we measure our spiritual life agains the fruits we are meant to produce, there is nothing more important than the first one: Love. Saint Paul tells us, all things pass away but love never ends. (1Cor 13:8)

God is by nature love, entirely love, flowing out over all of us. As we give ourselves over to him entirely and become more like him, our very nature shifts to become, like His, love. 

The catechism of my childhood taught that entire meaning of life is that God made us. Why? God made us to love and serve Him in this world and to be happy with Him in the next. In other words, He wishes to be united to us utterly. So love of God implies service and that love drives us, as all love does, toward union, with the Beloved.

But how is it fruit? As we empty ourselves in order to let God in, our capacity for love grows. We begin to see the world and the people in it as God sees them, to love them as God does.

Imperfect person that I am, people irritate. People anger. People make demands that are inconvenient, imposing, and annoying. Imperfect person that I am I prefer my own will, and yet I get up every morning and tell Him I will do His will. When his love bears fruit, I forgive, I give of time and treasure, I build bridges to those who different, difficult, and demanding. When it doesn't, I crawl back into my cave.

In a recent speech Pope Francis called love of neighbor "a daily gymnasium in which we train love for God."

What of marriage? Marriage is the great school of love; done well it burns off selfishness year after year. At a profoundly spiritual moment once He told me I would never learn to love Him until I learned to love in marriage. My vocation has always been clear.

So the mechanism of love goes both directions. Insofar as I learn selfless love and practice it, however imperfectly, I make room for God to pour his love in me. Insofar as I let God pour His love in me, it overflows, bearing fruit in the world. Allow the Holy Spirit full rein, and love takes root to bear fruit.

Fruits

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

 

How can the world recognize a Christian? By the words they quote? The symbols they wear? The laws they uphold? No. Not even by their virtues, per se, but by their fruits, 

You will know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16)

In a time when the Church calls us to the New Evangelization, it seems like we ought to start with the fruits our lives bear. If we aren't producing good fruit, no amount of speechifying, apologetics or (saints preserve us) argumentation will attract people to Christ.

And the scriptures give us a clue by listing the fruits of some one in union with the Holy Spirit. What what we to make of that? How shall each of us judge ourselves? Perhaps a good examination of conscience might start with examining my life for signs of:

• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Faithfulness
• Gentleness
• Self-control

I stumble right out the gate on that second one if not the first. In the next few posts, I think I'll examine those one by one.

Hope

 Hope is faith in things unseen, the promise of things to come. Without we hide under the bed of our soul and never let God make us what we can be.

As 2020 turned over into 2021 and the New Year begins with yet more ugliness—deaths from Covid are up, Virtual Mass proves a poor substitute for the relating, hunger is rising and homocide rates with it, and a coup attempt that is probably just an opening sally has occurred—hope has never been a more vital component of our spiritual lives.

Samantha Powers told U.S. Catholic recently that, while the size of if the  world's ills is massive, there are always things that can be done right in front of our noses. No one of us is called to save the world. (The work of Redemption has been done, I believe), but we are all called to remember that the kingdom is at hand--right in front of us. We're called to live in the kingdom, loving God with our whole hearts and our neighbor--whoever that is and a whoever comes our way each day--as ourselves. 

We can't let darkness win. We'll know we walk there if we see His fruit. More on that another time.