Fruits

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

 

How can the world recognize a Christian? By the words they quote? The symbols they wear? The laws they uphold? No. Not even by their virtues, per se, but by their fruits, 

You will know them by their fruits. (Matthew 7:16)

In a time when the Church calls us to the New Evangelization, it seems like we ought to start with the fruits our lives bear. If we aren't producing good fruit, no amount of speechifying, apologetics or (saints preserve us) argumentation will attract people to Christ.

And the scriptures give us a clue by listing the fruits of some one in union with the Holy Spirit. What what we to make of that? How shall each of us judge ourselves? Perhaps a good examination of conscience might start with examining my life for signs of:

• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Faithfulness
• Gentleness
• Self-control

I stumble right out the gate on that second one if not the first. In the next few posts, I think I'll examine those one by one.

Hope

 Hope is faith in things unseen, the promise of things to come. Without we hide under the bed of our soul and never let God make us what we can be.

As 2020 turned over into 2021 and the New Year begins with yet more ugliness—deaths from Covid are up, Virtual Mass proves a poor substitute for the relating, hunger is rising and homocide rates with it, and a coup attempt that is probably just an opening sally has occurred—hope has never been a more vital component of our spiritual lives.

Samantha Powers told U.S. Catholic recently that, while the size of if the  world's ills is massive, there are always things that can be done right in front of our noses. No one of us is called to save the world. (The work of Redemption has been done, I believe), but we are all called to remember that the kingdom is at hand--right in front of us. We're called to live in the kingdom, loving God with our whole hearts and our neighbor--whoever that is and a whoever comes our way each day--as ourselves. 

We can't let darkness win. We'll know we walk there if we see His fruit. More on that another time.

Emptiness

 Last week I found a little book I had forgotten, shoved back on my bookshelf behind heavier things. It was The Reed of God, one once dear to my heart. I've been reading it every night and so it is again.

She begins with emptiness, the necessity if we are to be filled with Christ, We must be empty; we must be filled; and then—only then—and can we be the hands, the feet, and the beating heart that carries Christ where He wishes to go.

She speaks of three kinds of emptiness. The reed is the delicate emptiness through which the music of God can flow. The chalice is the solid emptiness in which sacrifice, necessary, and needed, can occur. A next is a soft emptiness in which life can be nurtured. We are, she says, all called to our own specific emptiness in order to be what He wishes.

My first image of God was of as the hub of the wheel that is my life. In that vision, a world of people, things, issues, worries, activity flowed in a chaotic circle held in place and given meaning by that hub.  She suggests a different image, one in which we enter into the emptiness at the center, by freeing our minds and souls of the chatter and the noise. It is harder than it sounds. I'm reminded of a mantra He gave me long ago: Listen; don't talk.

Advent is a good time to let the quiet seep in.

Black Lives Matter

 Black Lives Matter. 

God created man in His own image,

Genesis 1:27

Black Lives Matter

If it is on the tip of your tongue to respond “but all lives matter,” stop right there. 

Don’t say it. You’re missing the point. Life is God’s precious gift to be valued always. But for hundreds of years black lives specifically—precious and beloved of God—have been held cheaply in our culture. For 250 years, black lives were used, abused, bought, sold, and snuffed out with impunity in the United States. For the next hundred they were over-policed, underserved, and, yes, still snuffed out with impunity too often. It didn’t end with MLK making a speech as his death makes clear. 

The cry of the streets, what we must understand, is that precious lives continue to die as a result of hunger, the worst of the income gap, poor access to health care, and the actions of bad apples of law enforcement the structure can’t seem to control. Those things are only able to go on because our culture as a whole DOESN’T value all lives as it claims. Our young people are demanding that we stop looking the other way.

Black Lives Matter.

Say it to yourself. Say it over and over until it seeps into your marrow and becomes part of you. Say it out loud until it seeps into our culture and begins to transform it at last.

Black Lives Matter

This I Believe

This I believe:

1. God is. Nothing else really matters.
2. God is love. He is the trinity of Lover, Love, Beloved in neverending exchange.
3. The logic of love is creation~the sharing of love.
4. The gap between humanity and God demanded redemption. The continued gap calls out for salvation.
5. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him, not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it...  And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth.

 I accept the formulation of the Nicene creed, and I choose to be a submissive daughter of the Roman Catholic church, never blind to its greed, sins, and administrative blunders, but joyful in its life in the Spirit, the beauty of its traditions, and the communion of its saints.

Word on Fire

...for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit

                    1 Thessalonians  1:5

In the middle of the angst, divisions, and failures of the Catholic Church this decade, I've looked for a spiritual home.

My parish, as luck would have it, is lovely; bible study there keeps me going. But it is shrinking. Between the flight of believers, aging out and changing demographics, it teeters toward disappearing. In my heart of hearts, I have my doubts about the old structure of parish/diocese/archdiocese/conference... It doesn't seem to be working. I have total faith that we as a community of faith can march on no matter what, but the structure? It may be time to let it fall.

I considered one of the traditional religious orders, some, including the one that raised me, take affiliate members. I've looked at various lay movements without finding much satisfaction. I spent some time perusing Formed and some of the online groups. None spoke to me.

So I've settled on Word on Fire. I admire the way in which the institute engages the culture. Wherever I go on social media (and I confess to being out there a lot) WoF is there, not cringing before the culture, not attacking the culture, but engaging the culture in a dialogue rooted and grounded in our faith. As a layperson called to be in the world but not of it and as a writer who prays for ways to make sure my work is soaked in my faith, and a person who uses technology, it feels like a good fit. I'm particularly fond of the magazine and podcast Evangelization and Culture. I'm happy to have my monthly subscription contribute.

I recommend their work—I hope one day to confidently call it our work. Look for us wherever you go. Start here:

https://www.youtube.com/user/wordonfirevideo

or here

https://wordonfire.institute

My Creed

As I set out on my walk today, rosary in hand, I rattled through the Apostles Creed. We always begin with the fundamental statement of faith. It occurred to me though, that my personal fundamental statement of faith, my personal creed is much simpler.

God is and nothing else matters.

It is the first faith commitment I ever made and the foundation of my life.

An Open Letter to the Church in the Face of Abuse Scandals

To: Cardinal Daniel N. DiNardo and bishops collectively as the USCCB

Denying sin is self-deception.

If we say, “We are without sin,” we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing. If we say, “We have not sinned," we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. (1John: 1:8-10)

This passage slapped me in the face this morning during morning prayer, when struggling, as I have been lately with faith in the governance of my church. Please note I do not struggle with faith in the mystical body, real presence, or the Nicene creed. I certainly do not struggle with faith in our all loving and merciful God. I only struggle with, well, you. 

I write in the face of scandals, plural. In spite of revelation after revelation of crime and cover-up, I, like many of the faithful who sit in your pews, have very little evidence of any real change. Neither slick statements written by image experts and lawyers nor half-baked apologies from the bishops sitting on their thrones at the altar have shown any real repentence. Real repentence requires acknowledgement of guilt.

Our church no longer requires public penance. Perhaps we should. For clergy who abuse children or adults over who they have authority, public penance consists of facing the police and the courts and—pray God—admission of guilt.

You however—every one of you who have in any way covered up, brushed aside, hidden, or mismanaged cases of abuse—have yet to face adequate consequences. The financial consquences will be paid by the faithful, not by you. Bring them on! Personally, i think that if we're forced to sell every asset we have and go back to meeting in homes and public places, so be it. Perhaps the energy of the early church may come back.

Sins so public require public penance. Everyone of you who has abused church power in this way should strip off your robes and badges of office, go down on your knees in front of your cathedrals—and maybe the churches of every parish in your diocese—and beg God's forgiveness and ours.

My faith tells me I have to forgive. I'm working on that. It also teaches me that if you wish to have God's forgiveness you have to admit the sin. Pleased do,

Carol Roddy

Notre Dame Burns

I tell you that something greater than the temple is here.

                                Mathew 12:6

I watched in horror, my stomach churning, holding back tears while the great cathedral in Paris burned. I wept when pictures surfaced of people kneeling, praying, singing in the street.

The outpouring of grief for that holy site, that great cultural artifact, "the heart of France," has been genuine and understandable. My own sense of loss is deep. Very quickly, however, we began to hear people struggling to make sense of the event, Worse, some folks began to fold it into their own disparate belief system in awful ways. Some of the things I heard:

1. It can't have been an accident, it had to be "them" (Muslims, anarchists, whoever you define as "them")
2. Our Lady is alerting France to mend their ways and return to faith.
3. The cathedral had been corrupted into a tourist attraction and didn't deserve God's protection.
4. Let it burn, it housed/tolerated/covered up pedophilia.

What struck me as the evening wore on is no one died. The destruction, heart rending though it was, didn't rise to the level of even one mass shooting: Parkland, Columbine, ChristChurch. I wept for a building, and I ought to week for the lost,

Heroic efforts went into rescuing dozens of artifacts, some quite ancient, some recent, some quite valuable, some priceless, and all with great religious significance. The media's emphasis on the crown of thorns relic troubled me, mostly because I am all to aware the the provenance of such relics is shaky at best. I found myself thinking I would sidestep that one and go right for Saint Louis IX's tunic. I am generally put off by relics that are body parts (the tongue of Anthony, the head of the Bapist—or that of Catherine of Siena) and attracted to objects like Francis's little brown robe or Katherine Drexel's desk. The ones reputed to be associated with Christ and the earliest church tend to be questionable. There was a not trade in relics during the middle ages. The crown of thorns itself was once used as security on a loan. That's how Louis IX acquired it.

We were reminded later in the week that three historic black churches in Louisiana were torched in the previous month or so. As billionaires pledged millions to rebuild Notre Dame, less affluent folks began send their mite to the fund to rebuild those churches. I plan to do the same.  We were also reminded that people are starving, and some asked "Where are the billionaires when people need food?" Good question.

How then should I respond to this? I pray that the cathedral will rise and the faith of France— and indeed the whole world—will rise with it, resurrection out of ashes being an appropriate thought for Holy Week.  I will probably send my bit to the cathedral fund. I will most definitely send some to the fund for the churches. Food causes are always dear to my heart and in my budget. 

What came to me was this: love what God loves. And what is that? Us. God loves every one of us, and, as I read the Gospels, his special preference is for the poor and marginalized. Does he care about buildings, relics, art? Only insofar as they enrich us. I'm glad they rescued the relics, but I'd trade them in a second to rescue one hungry child. I'm glad they are rebuilding the cathedral because the hearts of people are elevated by it.  I just hope France finds peace, unity, and faith in the process. 

Free Will

God is love.

                     1 John 4:8

Free will is one of life's great mysteries. We look at the violence, greed, and destruction men choose to do as an exercise of their freedom to choose, and it is tempting to ask What was God thinking when he gave us free will? We could start with the cross, evil doing its level best to suppress supreme Good, and scratch our heads. What is it Jesus meant when he said, "Be it done according to Your will..." What did the Father demand? That He not interfere with the free will of men, and look at the result. Couldn't he have come up with a better plan?

No. the reason is, that God is love. Let me explain.

God by his very nature, we are taught, is love. In Deus Carita Est Benedict XVI beautifully expounds on Eros as it applies to God — the fundamental drive to be united with the other. God loves us. He longs for us. He desires to be united to us. Here's the catch: unity that is forced is not love. It may be submissive correctness. It may involve rule keeping and orthodoxy, but it is not love. Love requires choice. He doesn't want us as poor submissive creatures. He desires union through love. He wants US to choose HIM. Faith is a personal choice, a relationship with another.

Historically, the Church has gotten into trouble when it lost the simple fact that our faith is about relationship, about love, and about choice, and it has allowed itself to be seduced by the methods of this world. That is to say it has chosen power, force, and the hammer of law over love. The obvious examples are the Spanish Inquisition and the crusades, but there are thousands of others in the lives of each of us.

We find ourselves at yet another historical crisis, with the secular world moving farther and farther from God and his call for sacrificial love and the Church slipping into a crisis rooted in the abuse of power at the same time. The tragic stories of sexual abuse by those with power perpetrated on those without it, primarily children, is devastating. The behavior of bishops who've placed the church's perks, privileges, revenue, and prestige above care for victims is far more destructive, undermining as it does the faith of thousands and eroding the moral authority of the clergy to an all-time low. These acts are possible only when presbyters forget that faith is about our relationship with God, not about the exercise of office.

George Bernanos wrote that those who would reform the church must turn aside from solutions learned from politics or business—the things of this world—and look to Saint Francis, who responded to God's call to rebuild his church with humility and poverty, with love. We would do well to think about that when we're tempted to argue about Liberal and Conservative, about celibacy and homosexuality, about putting our will ahead of the Beloved.

The Sacred Heart

No one has ever seen God. It is God the only Son, who is close to the Father's heart, who has made him known.

John 1:18

Perhaps it is a distaste for the iconography, but when I was younger I was at best unimpressed with devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Some of the more anatomical renderings or prayers were big time turn offs.

I've opened myself a bit more to it, realizing the devotion has its roots in the need to pull God close, to remember that Jesus, while fully God and in majesty at the right had of the Father, is fully human. As such his heart knows sadness, disappointment, grief but above all love and yearning, the very human manifestation of the fundamental nature of God. The Sacred Heart is one way of portraying the aspect of Jesus who is always knocking, always calling, always thirsting for our love.

I found a litany in a copy of June's Magificat this morning in the chapel that spelled that out beautifully with none of the treacly Victorian sentamentality that turned me off in the past. With those ideas in my heart and mind I rode home in the car, and I had a odd thought. Janis Joplin was blaring from my speakers and it occurred to me I could put her cry of the heart in His mouth addressing it to me, calling me to Himself.

You're out on the streets looking good

And baby deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right

Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night

But each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain

But when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again

I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on and take it

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby

Oh, oh, break it

Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah

Oh, oh, have a

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby

Well you know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good

That image probably won't be many people's cup of tea, but I could hear it. Art is in the ear of the listener sometimes.

The State

Render to Caesar what is Caesars and give to God what is God's.
                                                                               Mark 12:17


When this is quoted, people often leave off the question and give it as an example of Jesus's wisdom—sometimes it is simply cited as an example of cleverness.

The question before it is interesting: Is it lawful to pay taxes to the Romans or not? By "lawful" they meant under Jewish law of course. The question is an example of religious scrupulosity and legalism being wielded as a weapon against the Lord who spoke over the top of the details of law most of his earthly life. Standing against that was the state, Roman law and the hammer of Roman power to enforce it.

I was thinking about that moment this morning when I read about the Supreme Court ruling in the case of Masterpiece cakes vs a gay couple who wanted a custom cake. Do all Americans have the right to buy cake? Arguably they do. Does a baker have the right to refuse the bake one with an explicit message contrary to his beliefs? Arguably he does. This particular case resolved very little, aside from the courts demand that both sets of rights be respected and weighed fairly in lower court rulings.

It begs the question, what would Jesus have said? The Caesar side of this equation is the equal civil rights of all Americans under civil law. All citizens should have equal access to tax breaks, provision of health benefits and other benefits historically offered only to married couples. They have the right under civil law to form relationships as they see fit and to obtain those benefits. In a democratic state we must all be treated equally—and yes, I know, many groups struggle to make that a reality.

The God side of this equation is the Church's teaching on sex and marriage and how believers live their lives. The church has the right to define marriage, especially sacramental marriage, and to teach its members how to live their lives. It should not be forced to perform ceremonies in violation of its teaching or to place children for adoption/foster care in homes that don't reflect its own values.

The courts will need the wisdom of Solomon—or of Jesus—as they sort through this tangle, and sort it they will eventually.  In reviewing Mark 12 I noticed something else interesting. A few verses below this one Jesus quotes Leviticus giving us the two great commandments. Both have been under siege in public discourse in recent years. I pray we as people of faith remember them.

Corpus Christi

When Christ came as high priest of the good things that have come to be,

passing through the greater and more perfect tabernacle

not made by hands, that is, not belonging to this creation,

he entered once for all into the sanctuary

Hebrews 9:11

Once for all. The great mystery of the Mass is that every time—every time—we stand at the foot of the cross and enter into the passion. Does it mean it occurs over and over? No! God's time isn't our time. We enter into the saving act which occurred once for all and the "greater and more perfect tabernacle," as opposed to the Holy of Holies in the massive temple in Jerusalem.I think I'll just let that one settle in for a while and see how much of it I can fully grasp.

Vines

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.         John 15:5

In many ways, this is the quintessential Easter text. Life for those of us connected to the vine.  The abiding part is fairly easy. It is a warm fuzzy sort of text. God's life is in me!

Remembering that last bit, however, is the tough part. We can do what? Nothing. All our work means nothing unless we do it with Him. A good marriage? Not without God at the center. Our efforts at spiritual life? Nada. Prayer? Don't even go there.


Most mornings I wake up with a prayer and remember the day belongs to God. Most. Not all. Evenings are another story. By about mid-afternoon (if not before) I'm running on my own power...which means running on empty. If it is a good day, I circle back around and tap in before I got to bed.

In this effort, as in all things, I need His help because I can do nothing.

Killing is Killing

Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
                                        1 John 3:15

I live in a political desert that lies between warring armies in the battle between life and death. There are no innocent parties, me included. They whole of life is a precious gift from God and we are all obliged to protect it.

Killing is killing. Death is death. On one side are the gun lobbies. They run the extreme from responsible gun owners (I'm related to many) to the rabid gun promoters. That last group includes the masses genuinely persuaded that "liberals" plan to take their precious guns to which God entitles them to the cynical bloodsucking NRA and firearms industry people growing fat off the firearms that have flooded the U.S. To those who believe the second amendment is about (or only about) some individual freedom and that "the genie is already out of the bottle" regarding the numbers of firearms out there—and therefore nothing can change—I say (with the Parkland Kids) BS. The community has a right to defend itself from without and within. We can enact federally mandated universal background checks tomorrow to weed out the unstable, mentally ill and terrorists. We can make all bumpstockj illegal. Those two would be a good start while we sort out what else we want. We can behave in ways that prevent mass killings.

Here's the odd part. Folks in the pro-gun camp often—in the case of the most extreme, almost always—claim to be "pro-life." What they really mean is they are anti-abortion, often in a way that masks as anti-women's rights. The far right also attacks universal health care and assistance to poor mothers. The whole of life is a precious gift of God. You can't have it both ways.

Killing is killing. Death is death. On the other side is the pro-choice movement. They run the extreme from those who know there is a line, a point at which the taking of human life is bad, to rabid pro-choice people who believe any legislation to regulate the abortion industry is an affront to their God give right to do what they please with their bodies. Women do have an absolute right to control what happens to their bodies. I have no doubt about that. At least they do up to the point of conception. At that point the woman is not the only person whose right must be considered because the rights of another human being are at stake—at least half of them future women. The point at which a fetus becomes that other human being has been debated, but to argue for late term abortion when the unborn child is fully formed, viable and moving is to argue for legalized infanticide. I personally have never found a point in prenatal development in which a radical becoming human event occurs except conception. The pro-life political movement has taken a hard line all or nothing demand for making all abortion a crime as their platform. I would argue for laws that slow the rush to abort as a cheap, freely available method of birth control. We can enact laws the value women's health, and provide the resources they need to provide for themselves and their children. We can focus on income equality. We can support community health centers that support the whole gamut of women's health. We can behave in ways that prevent abortion.

Here's the odd part. Folks who are rabidly pro-choice and defend the need for ubiquitous easy, freely available abortion are often anti-gun rights. I don't get it. The far left defends universal health care and income equality, but rigidly defends the right to terminate life in the womb. The whole of life is a precious gift of God. you can't have it both ways.

The signs we live in a culture of death are all around us: teen suicide, violent movies and video, the sheer proliferation of guns in our homes/streets, the high price of needed medication, the acceptance of abortion as an option in all pregnancy, inequality in access to health care, execution of criminals, advocacy for assisted suicide an euthanasia. I think on some level almost all of us are culpable. However, I think there may be a special place in Hell for some:

• Those who grow rich on the manufacture, sale, and lobbying for the firearms that flood our streets. 
• Those who make abortion a for-profit business, or even use it to fund their so-call non-profit operation. 
• Pharmaceutical company executives who grow rich manipulating prices and patents to keep the prices of their drugs high at the expense of the ill, the elderly and the poor. 
• Those who mock young people traumatized by violence. 
• Politicians who care more about reelection and fundraising than the death of young people, who value their position more than their ethics. 

Killing is killing and death is death. God forgive us all.

Life in the Midst of Winter

 Christ will be exalted in my body,whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
                                        Philippians 1:20-21

That is one of the few bits of scripture I know by heart in both English and Latin. Why then do I forget it so often?

I have wandered into yet another patch in which prayer has become one more thing to check of my list of tasks, and Mass one of the obligations I faithfully carry out.  When this happens I become a creature of the religion and the law, as Paul viewed it. Only life in Christ gives Lauds meaning. Only life in Christ gives the Mass its power and glory. I walk with a person, not a set of rules and I forget that at my peril.

The Inner Light

 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
                                                                             1John:1:5

I've been reading about Quakers for my most recent book, and I have become enamored with the concept of inner light.

As a Roman Catholic, I value the structure of the church around me. In spite of eras of weak leadership, worldly popes, and/or men corrupted by power (and lack women's influence), having a center has generally kept us from splintering and from wandering into the extreme fringes of religious practice. Over the long haul of history, we get pulled back to center. Visionaries enrich the church; fanatics lead us over the cliff. Only time (and God's own judgment) sorts the wheat from the chaff.

That said, I've always believed each individual needed to listen to the work of the Holy Spirit in them, calling them to l rest in God as they go about their daily work. On days I remember to listen, my life goes well and my writing does too. On days I don't, I go to bed irritable, frustrated, and quarrelsome. What is that if not the inner light?

I trust the work of the Spirit in myself and those I love. I also view with caution the tendency of each of us to let ego and our need for control mistake "inner light" for "my desire." The only cure for that is humility and that, my friends is a life-long battle. Having the discipline of church, even if we don't always like what it says, helps with that.

Poverty of Spirit

 Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

While she is aware many saints sought actual poverty, Leseur says, "This is not my vocation." As the wife of an upper middle class professional, and one with severe illness, she wasn't free to choose it. There is nothing in the essay about solidarity with the poor or any particular insight into actual poverty. She does say that as far as is compatible with her "state in life" she will practice "a little poverty," by which she seems to mean certain self imposed penances. The insight here is not profound.

She distinguishes between Poverty of Spirit, which she defines as detachment from all that is purely human, and Poverty of Heart, which she defines as cutting oneself off from every attachment that cannot last eternity. Leseur addresses poverty of spirit sharply, but it bleeds into her previous writings on renunciation, detachment, and humility. There are no new insights, and it isn't her best piece.

Compared to the radical poverty of Francis, the active solidarity of Vincent de Paul, her writings on this subject sound weak, vague, and self centered.

I've always been haunted by the admonition to "live simply that others may simply live..."  I don't always do it well, but I've tried to store up my treasure where neither thieves nor moths can get to it. In our over rich culture, when people die for lack of clean water, adequate health care, and sufficient food, we can't afford ivory tower concepts of poverty. I don't know that I do any better than Leseur actually did.

Still the point is face poverty of power and rely on God, poverty of grace and ask for it, poverty of virtue and throw ourselves on his mercy, to walk in joy no matter what God gives us or takes away because His will is always to our benefit and His ways are not our ways.

Obedience

When I faced burnout in May and gave myself the summer off from all my writer blogs, I didn't intend to include this one. Alas, it too fell by the wayside. A quick review of Leseurs sixth and seventh monthly resolution, however, makes me suspect I also ducked them. Neither was any more difficult for the soul than, say, humility, but they were both rather mushy concepts and hard to wrap straight forward words around.

The sixth month? "To meditate on, serve, and love our crucified Savior." I actually did focus on the sorrowful mysteries that month, and work at this one. I just had nothing to say about it

The seventh month is "Detachment of soul." I wasn't seeing how this differs from many of her other ones. It is yet another way of saying "I must decrease and He must increase."

That brings me to last month's resolution, Obedience. Leseur resolves to practice it first of all and most obviously toward God. She goes on to say her body ought to be in obedience to her soul, an instrument to be used. Saint Francis called his body "Brother Ass." The point is that the body must be fit and disciplined enough to carry out the responsibilities of one's vocation, but not coddled.

When she turns to her "superiors," she lists first of all church authorities in descending order: Pope, bishops, priests, and—lucky her—her spiritual director. She talks about joyful, humble obedience. I decided some twenty years ago to be an obedient and submissive daughter of the church. It hasn't always been easy. Only a fool would deny there has been and still is corruption in the Vatican, weakness in some chancery offices, and not all priests are worthy. Those things matter to the life of the church and are cause of great sorrow, but they do not let me off the hook. Church discipline is above my pay grade. My job is to be a sabbath keeper, a rule follower and a humble obedient servant of the church. 

All this is particularly striking to me because I have been reading "traditionalist" literature at the request of a family member. I try for humility and an open mind, I pray before reading, and I seek the fruits of the Holy Spirit in what I read. I'm finding turmoil, arrogance, and defiance.  It isn't that all of the specific content is wrong, it is that there is little concrete dogma/ideas to get my arms, things that can or  be worked on lovingly in faithful obedience to the church. Most of it is clearly delineating between "us" and "them" and defined all that is true as "us." Much of it is convoluted justification for disobedience. It discourages me, but it challenges me not to mistake my own opinions for absolute truth.

Leseur goes on to list her "temporal superiors," her husband, her mother, and all to whom she owes respect. Last but not least she speaks of obedience to her own resolutions. That's a hard one, especially for me when I insist on biting off more than I can chew!

That brings me to September. Later...

Souls

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
                                                              John 13:34

I resolve to love souls for the sake of Jesus Christ.
                                                            Elizabeth Leseur

Ok. So I got to Leseur's fifth month and this time her language feels truly awkward. Love souls? Not people? One another?  Puzzlement.

She goes on to talk about resolving to know souls and to go out and seek them. She speaks of welcoming everyone who comes her way.  She seems to mean that she will try to see all people with God's eyes, loving them, and with knowing them as they are to him. By loving she means looking to their greater good in God's eyes.

To pray, "let me see everyone I meet today as you see them and love them as you love them," is terrifying if I pray it like I mean it.

A week ago I visited Times Square. A seething mass of thousands of diverse people are there night and day. Some are downright peculiar. Some are attractive. Many are not. With Leseur's fifth resolution in the back of my mind it occurred to me that God had made every one of them and loves every one of them. I can choose to pray for them all and offer such general care, but I can't relate to them. I suspect she is talking about rising above our limitations in this regard.

If we try to relate to each person as beloved of God it would alter our relationships with those that come our way, enable us to do the good in front of us, and help us look past conflicts, even the ones that hurt the most, the ones with our near and dear.

Dear God, I can't do this without your grace. I ask for it.