Memorial Day (or, Mourning Again)

I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother.

Psalm 35:13-15

Here's to those fallen in battle, may we revere their memory always. Here's to the mangled and maim who come back to us, they deserve our care and thanks.

Here, also, is tribute and respect to the living dead, the walking wounded, the ones who left their life on a battlefield somewhere, and filled out the rest of their days in a kind of grey half life, never quite the husbands or fathers they were before, never living the lives they would have led. Long before modern psychology named it PTSD they were among us.

Here, above all, is a salute to those who got back husband, brother, friend, father but never really got him back. I weep for my mother.

The Desert Again

A voice of one crying out in the desert: 'Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths.
Mark 1:3

From an interview with Bruce Feiler regarding Walking the Bible:

I went looking for all these rational questions, and could I make it connection with my kind of secular, rational world, and then I realized that was just this kind of crutch that I was relying on. And that what I really learned was that going into the desert, in particular, you have to learn to let go of those crutches and the civilized world, and open yourself up to something higher.

I think that one thing that Judaism, Christian and Islam have in common is that they are the story of a man - at their heart - the story of a man who leaves the civilized world and goes into the desert, has a transforming experience, and then comes back to the civilized world to share that experience with others.

The key thought here is that when you go into the desert you can't use reason and intellect as a crutch. You have to confront the higher realities. It reads like a primer on my own spiritual dilemmas.

Prayer

And when you are praying, speak not much, as the heathens. For they think that in their much speaking they may be heard.
Be not you therefore like to them, for your Father knoweth what is needful for you, before you ask him.
Matthew 6:7-8

It came to me suddenly, how I pray.

Dear Lord, show me what you want from me; Thy will be done. Now, here's what I'm going to do for you. 1)...

God says, if you'll stop talking, perhaps I can get a word in edgewise. Let me know when you are ready.

Emptying Out

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves
Philippians 2:3

If anything at all in faith runs contrary to the values of this world it is this: we are called to put the other--each and every 'other' in our lives--ahead of ourselves. Modern psychology screams out that this cannot be so; healthy ego demands attention to the self first. Faith argues that a truly health ego has no need of focus on self. Humility demands that we cease thinking about the self and simply live with what is.

Does this mean the person of faith should put up with abuse? Clearly not. To love the other is to prevent the other from being an abuser. To collaborate in the abuse by allowing your own victimization is not humility, it is self centered weakness.

Does this mean the person of faith is at the beck and call of every demand and whim of everyone he/she meets? Clearly not. To love the other is to keep your eyes on the true good, the long term well being of the the other and the bigger picture. It isn't about reaction, but about where you put your eyes.

If one of those given to you is irritable or angry the response is not "You're mean." or "I'm right you aren't." Nor is it "That's ok, treat me as you will." It is "What is behind this, and how can I help heal it with God's help?"

The emptying of self does not make one weak. On the contrary, it plants one on the firm foundation of God's power.